Love She Can't Live Without
by Jen - Nicole
Summary: Set on Mac's Engagement party. Just my take on what I would have loved to have seen happen. This is my first JAG story so please be nice. Harm and Mac Romance.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first JAG story so please be kind of nice to me. Hope you all like it. I don't own JAG or the song Love She Can't Live Without by Clint Black. I am just borrowing them for amusement. This story takes place at the engagement party for Mac and Mic.

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Mac's POV

_He gives her attention, he's constantly, carefully planting the seeds__The only thing missing, is really the only thing she needs_

As I hear the first few notes of the song begin to filter out of the speakers I can already tell that this song is one I can relate to. Mic is always giving me attention and care but it isn't what I need. The thing I need is the one thing I can't have.

_And he can't give that to her and she can't find it with him__So she'll have to find her way out of love she's not really in_

Oh if only those words weren't so true. I can't truly be loved by Mic the way that I need to be loved. Yet here I am at my engagement party, listening to a song I wish I had heard long ago. I can't just leave Mic, not this close to the wedding. It wouldn't be right. But would marrying a man you don't truly love be right either another voice in my head shouts at me.

_She can live with what goes with leaving__She knows it's the only way__Though it kills her to give up believin'__She can't live with herself if she stays__She could settle for what she'd be feeling__If she gave in and worked this one out__She doesn't want the kind of love she can live with__She wants the kind of love she can't live without_

I really need to teach the Admiral how to pick songs. This isn't right. I can now see that clearly. I can't just stay with Mic because I feel I owe it to him. I mean sure I love him, but I'm not in love with him. I really need to talk to Mic. I just wish I had come to this conclusion before this got so far.

_She looks in the mirror and sees all the sadness in her eyes__It's never been clearer what he's asking her to sacrifice_

I haven't exactly been the happiest in the world since I got with Mic but it's clear why now. I was just settling for second best because the love I truly want was just out of my reach. I guess getting married to Mic was making me give up believing that there was still a chance for Harm and I.

_But she can't be his forever, she can't even be his for now__She'll have to be kind to them both and let go of him somehow_

Okay Mac just tell him why you really needed to talk. It's just Mic, if he truly loves you he'll let you go.

"Mic, we really need to talk about the wedding." I state nervously.

"Don't worry Sarah, everything is taken care of. I have everything ready. All you need to do is show up and walk down the aisle to me." Mic replies.

"That's just it Mic. I can't… I can't marry you." Finally, it's off my chest and judging by the look on Mic's face he knew this was coming at some point.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" He asks quietly.

"Yes." I say as he gets up.

"Well, if you ever change your mind. I'll always love you Sarah. I'm going back to Australia. Thanks for the chance." And with that he was out the door and out of my life.

_She can live with what goes with leaving__She knows it's the only way__Though it kills her to give up believin'__She can't live with herself if she stays__She could settle for what she'd be feeling__If she gave in and worked this one out__She doesn't want the kind of love she can live with__She wants the kind of love she can't live without_

I don't even remember coming over here. I just went on auto-pilot and followed my heart which led me to Harm's doorstep. Before I lose the courage I knock hoping Renee isn't here.

"Mac, what's the matter? Why are you here?" He asks as he opens his door for me to enter.

"I called it off. I couldn't marry him." I reply shakily. The next thing I know I am pulled into Harm's arms and I can hear him telling me that things will be okay.

"Why couldn't you marry him Mac?" I hear him ask gently.

"Because I am in love with someone else." I state quietly.

"Who are you in love with?" I hear him ask just as quietly.

_And hardest part is she loves him__But she doesn't want the kind of love she can live with__She wants the kind of love she can't live without_

"You."

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So, what did everyone think? I just wrote it off the top of my head so I have no idea how good it sounds to everyone else. But please review. 


	2. Chapter 2

Alright people bare with me I am trying something and I don't know how it will turnout. I am writing this chapter that is Harm's thoughts running at the same times as Mac's from the last chapter. Hmm… not sure if this will be good but worth the shot. Tell me what y'all think. I don't own JAG or the song The Perfect Conversation by Mark Wills. Okay on to the story.

Harm's POV

_In the perfect conversation we're standing at the station__and__ you're begging me, "please don't go"_

As I sit here in my apartment with the radio on I can't help but think back to what I just put myself through. It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to witness. Standing by Mac's side while I watched Brumby get to be all happy with the woman I deserve, the only woman for me. I listen to the song filtering out of the radio and can't help but think of the what if's it brings to my mind.

_You say, "__The__ only thing that matters in this world__is that we need each other so"_

I get that part perfectly. I have never been good with words. As the song continues to play I can't help but be reminded of the perfect conversations that play in my head where I can tell Mac that I love her and in these conversations and fantasies we are together, not her and Brumby.

_In the perfect conversation without any hesitation__I tell you, I was wrong__I say, "__Girl__, you know sometimes my faith is weak__and my pride is much too strong"_

These words ring true in my ears. I think of all the times I want to tell her I was wrong and that I don't have much faith in anything since my dad went down. I couldn't stand losing another person I love but sitting here I realize that I am losing her. Not to death, but to another man.

_In this perfect conversation here in my imagination__Somehow I know just when to say what's right__And I know just what I'm losing__Before this train I'm on starts moving__And I'm running though the door to hold you tight__The perfect conversation always ends__Before we say goodbye_

I think back to her words. We are getting to good at saying goodbye. We really need to fix that. But what good would it do now. She is about to marry another man and all I can do is sit and listen to a radio. I wonder what she is doing right now. Never mind I probably don't want to know.

_All that I can hear now, so loud and so clear now__Are the words I could not seem to find__everything__ I didn't say keeps coming back__One mile at a time_

I am interrupted by a knock at my door. As I open the door I am surprised to find out that the woman of my thoughts is standing at my door.

"Mac, what's the matter? Why are you here?" I ask her opening the further for her to enter.

"I called it off. I couldn't marry him." She says and I can't help it I pull her into my arms and tell her that things will be okay. I hate to ask but I need to know why the change of heart. So I ask her gently so I don't have an angry marine on my hands.

"Why couldn't you marry him Mac?"

"Because I am in love with someone else." I hear her quietly state and I feel the breath get caught in my throat as I try to find the courage to ask her my next question.

"Who are you in love with?" I try to state with a strong voice but it only comes out as a hoarse whisper.

_In this perfect conversation here in my imagination__Somehow I know just when to say what's right__And I know I'll never leave you__'Cause I know how much I need you__And I tell you that I love you just in time__The perfect conversation always ends__Before we say goodbye_

"You." I hear her whisper so quietly I wasn't sure she even said it.

" Me?" I manage to choke out when all I want to do is jump up and down screaming to the world that Sarah Mackenzie loves me.

"Yes Harm, as much as I try to deny it, I love you." She finishes finally looking up into my eyes. I know that she finally took the step I was scared to take.

"Well, then. I guess it's a good thing you love me, because I love you too, Sarah." I finally say and see a huge smile break out across her beautiful face and I know that we won't be saying goodbye for a long time.

_The perfect conversation always ends __before we say goodbye_

Well, so I finally got around to posting Harm's thoughts. So what did everyone think? Does anyone want me to continue this story or just end it here? Let me know.


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